Tag Archives: dating


8 Jun

Seems that a busy work week can put a damper on my intentions to get to this… ironic, given the title of my last post!  Oh well, back on the wagon!

We are both control freaks, but of different colors.  Me, I’m a freak about the details.  He is a freak about “the plan” and something called “all-or-nothing.”  I will explain.

Because of the high incidence of Spandex (R) and exposed skin in our chosen profession, we sometimes (less frequently than in previous years) shave some carbs out of our diets.  For me this means having two pieces of cake instead of three.  Or having sushi, because “it’s only a little bit of rice!”  For him this means eating scrambled eggs and cottage cheese and grilled chicken.  Once he decides not to eat cake or rice or anything that tastes good, he just doesn’t.  End of discussion.  I can’t seem to understand why, after our grilled chicken and cottage cheese, we can’t just have a little dessert!

By about Tuesday (we have Sunday and Monday off, so Tuesday is the beginning of our work week), he is usually asking me what “the plan” is for the weekend.  My response is usually something like this: “…I don’t know…” accompanied by a look that says, “stupid question, stupid answer.”  I’m a really nice person.  The thing is, I’m a recovering over-planner, so whenever possible, I like to go where the wind blows me.  I learned it from my friends, I think it’s lovely.  He thinks it’s disorganized.

However… if we are GOING to make “a plan,” it needs to be The Perfect Plan.  This is where I become a freak.  (Maybe my resistance to planning is a self-preserving attempt to be less freakish?)  We’re going out to lunch?  I have to research the menu online – nothing is more irritating than an unpublished menu! – so that I can make a decision on my order sometime the same day as being seated.  I need to find the perfect patio on a gorgeous day.  And what kind of cocktail will enhance the sunshine?  It’s paralyzing, folks.

A couple weeks ago, after much “What do you want to do?” and “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” he planned a date.  It was wonderful.  I did not criticize the details.  I didn’t even want to!  We went to see The Hangover 2.  He poured Captain Morgan into our Coke.  The movie, and the drink, were gross.  Then we went to dinner.  This was actually pretty exciting, because we never do the dinner-and-a-movie date.  I had a good martini, some thawed calamari, a pretty decent entree, and a great time.

I think we can all see the lesson here: let him handle the details.  I’m going to start doing a LOT of delegating.  As an act of self-therapy, of course!


One to go… with a side of ‘mones

19 May

I’m not crazy…

Today is the eleven-month mark for us.  I’m pretty excited to have a year of marriage under my belt.  It has surprised me how proud I am to be married.  Reminds me of Bridget Jones’ Diary, and the Smug Marrieds in her group of friends.  I like to think I’m not one of those, as their most distinguishing marking seemed to be their efforts to convince everyone to buddy up and get hitched.  While I desperately want my friends to be happy, I recognize that marriage may not bring that to all of them.  I think my smugness may lie more in how my wedding ring is so much prettier than yours.

We’ve talked a little about what we want to do to celebrate, and it’s been narrowed down so far to “something special” that is “not so expensive.”  That rules out most of the culinary experiences I’d like to have, as well as many of the hotels I think would be fun to crash.  So there’s some work to be done there…  I also need to figure out how I’m going to get him the super-clever, oh-so-punny gift I’ve thought up without getting busted via credit card statements.  Online?  Disguise it by lumping it in with a Target run?  Good thing I so love to scheme, there’s lots of it to do!

I just can’t help wondering, on this nearly-significant day, why they don’t recognize the obvious signs of our monthly hormone swings.  When a female coworker or friend of mine has an inexplicable outburst of bitchiness and/or tears and/or both at once, my first thought is something like, “Maybe we’ll have this conversation in 5-7 days.”

But on this, our eleven monthiversary, he tried to console me.  He tried to reason with me.  He tried to out-argue me.  And back to reason.  He even SAT ON THE FLOOR with me (reasoning attempt #2).  It was all such an interesting contrast to the response from a female coworker of mine: “You, too, this week?”

So, after some consideration and a quick check of the calendar, I’ve decided to go forward with the planning of what we might do to celebrate our first (paper) anniversary.  He should be safe on that weekend.